Writing a Birth Plan That Honors Your Faith

A birth plan is a short document that tells your care team what you would like during labor, birth and the first hours afterward. It is not a contract, and no one can promise that birth will go a certain way. But writing one does two valuable things. It helps you and your spouse talk through your wishes ahead of time, and it gives busy nurses and doctors a quick way to learn what matters to you.

For Christian couples, it is also a chance to make room for faith in the delivery room.

Keep it short

Nurses appreciate a birth plan that fits on one page and uses bullet points. Lead with what matters most, and leave out things that are standard anyway. Bring two or three printed copies to the hospital, and give one to your provider at a prenatal visit around 36 weeks so you can talk it through.

Use the language of preferences, not demands. “We would prefer” and “if possible” go a long way toward building trust with your team.

What to include

1. The basics

• Mother’s name, provider’s name, due date
• Who will be with you (husband, doula, others)
• Any allergies or health conditions
• Your blood type and Group B strep result, if known

2. Labor

• Movement: Would you like to walk, use a birth ball or shower?
• Monitoring: Would you prefer intermittent or wireless monitoring if you and the baby are both doing well?
• Pain relief: Are you hoping for an unmedicated birth, planning an epidural, or keeping an open mind? If you would like staff not to offer pain medication unless you ask, say so.
• Eating and drinking: Light snacks and clear fluids, if allowed.
• Environment: Dim lights, quiet voices, music.

3. Birth

• Pushing positions you would like to try
• Whether you would like a mirror, or to touch the baby’s head as it crowns
• Who would like to announce the sex, if it is a surprise
• Whether the father would like to cut the cord
• Cord clamping: ACOG recommends waiting at least 30 to 60 seconds before clamping the cord in healthy term babies. You may want to note your preference.

4. After the birth

• Skin-to-skin: Immediate skin-to-skin contact, with routine checks done on mother’s chest if possible
• Feeding: Breastfeeding, formula, or both, and whether you would like a lactation consultant
• Newborn procedures: Your hospital will offer vitamin K, antibiotic eye ointment, the hepatitis B vaccine and newborn screening. Ask your pediatrician about each one before the birth, so you can make an informed decision calmly, not in the delivery room.
• Rooming in: Whether you would like the baby with you at all times

5. If a cesarean is needed

• Whether the father can be present
• Whether you would like the drape lowered, or a clear drape, to see the baby born
• Skin-to-skin in the operating room, if possible

Where your faith fits

This is the part most birth-plan templates leave out. Here are ideas to choose from. Pick only the ones that matter to you.

A note on emergency baptism

All three of our traditions teach that baptism should not be delayed if a newborn’s life is in danger, and all allow a layperson to baptize in an emergency when a priest cannot come in time.

If a baby is in danger of death, any Christian present can pour water on the baby’s head three times while saying, “N., I baptize you in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.” (In Orthodox usage: “The servant of God N. is baptized in the name of the Father, Amen, and of the Son, Amen, and of the Holy Spirit, Amen.”) Ordinary water is used. If the baby recovers, tell your priest, who will complete the rest of the rites in church.

Include a line in your birth plan so the medical team knows this matters to you. Nurses in most hospitals are familiar with it and will help.

A sample one-page plan

You might format it like this:

Birth preferences for Mary and John Smith. Provider: Dr. Lee. Due date: March 14.

• We would like to labor without medication if possible. Please do not offer an epidural unless we ask.
• We would like freedom to move and to use the shower and birth ball.
• Please delay cord clamping and place the baby skin-to-skin right away.
• We plan to breastfeed and would like to see a lactation consultant.
• We are Catholic. If our baby’s life is in danger, please tell us at once so we can baptize. Our priest, Fr. Smith, can be reached at (555) 555-0100.
• We would like a few quiet minutes to pray together after the birth.

Bring it with you, then let it go

Once your plan is written, put it in your hospital bag and share it with your provider. Then hold it loosely. Labor has a way of rewriting plans, and a change is not a failure.

For husbands: you are the keeper of the plan. Your wife will be busy with the work of labor, so it falls to you to speak up kindly when something on the plan comes up, and to know when to let it go. Our guide on what husbands can do during labor has more.

The most important part of any birth plan is the one you cannot write down: entrusting your wife and child to God, whatever the day brings.