Medically reviewed by [Name, credentials] on [date].
This article is for general information and is not medical advice. Every pregnancy and every baby is different, so talk with your own doctor or midwife about your situation. If you think you or your baby need urgent care, call 911 or go to the nearest emergency room. Read our medical disclaimer.
For a long time the Church has treated the first forty days after birth as a time apart. Mary herself kept it: forty days after Christ’s birth, she and Joseph brought him to the Temple, as Luke 2:22–24 tells us. The Church remembers this each year on February 2, the Presentation of the Lord, also called Candlemas.
Modern medicine has arrived at a similar number. The “postpartum period” is usually counted as about six weeks, the time it takes for the womb to return to its normal size and for the body to recover from birth. Doctors now also speak of a “fourth trimester,” recognizing that recovery and adjustment continue well beyond that.
Both traditions point to the same truth: a mother who has just given birth needs rest, help and time. This guide covers what recovery looks like, the warning signs every couple should know, and how to protect those forty days.
What recovery looks like
Every woman’s recovery is different, and a cesarean recovery is different again. In general you can expect:
- Bleeding (lochia). Heavy and red for the first few days, then lighter and pinkish, then yellowish-white. It can last four to six weeks.
- Cramping, especially while breastfeeding in the first week, as the womb contracts.
- Soreness in the perineum after a vaginal birth, especially with stitches, or at the incision after a cesarean.
- Night sweats and frequent urination in the first weeks as the body sheds extra fluid.
- Breast fullness as milk comes in, usually between days two and five.
- Big emotions. Up to 80 percent of new mothers have the “baby blues”: weepiness, mood swings and anxiety in the first two weeks. It should ease by two weeks. If it doesn’t, talk to your doctor.
When to see your provider: ACOG recommends contact with your provider within the first three weeks after birth, and a full postpartum visit no later than twelve weeks. Many practices schedule a check at two weeks and another at six. Make the appointments before you leave the hospital.
Warning signs: when to call
Husbands, learn these. Many serious postpartum complications happen after the mother is home, and she may be too tired or unwell to notice them in herself.
Call 911 right away for:
- Chest pain or trouble breathing
- A seizure
- Thoughts of harming herself or the baby
Call her doctor or midwife right away for:
- Bleeding that soaks through a pad in an hour, or passing clots larger than an egg
- A fever of 100.4°F (38°C) or higher
- A severe headache that won’t go away, vision changes, or swelling in the face or hands (signs of postpartum preeclampsia, which can occur up to six weeks after birth)
- One leg that is red, swollen and painful (a possible blood clot)
- An incision that is red, swollen, leaking or opening
- Feelings of sadness, hopelessness or anxiety that last more than two weeks or make it hard to function
Postpartum depression is common, treatable and nothing to be ashamed of. It affects fathers too, at lower rates. If either of you is struggling, call your provider, or the National Maternal Mental Health Hotline at 1-833-852-6262 (free, 24/7). In a crisis, call or text 988.
The forty-day tradition
In the Old Testament, Leviticus 12 set apart a period of about forty days after the birth of a son, after which the mother made an offering at the Temple. The Christian Church kept the custom in a new form: a time of rest and recovery for the mother, closed with a blessing, giving thanks for the birth and welcoming mother and child back into the full life of the parish.
Historically this rest was protected by the whole community. Relatives and neighbors cooked, cleaned and cared for older children so the mother could rest and nurse. That kind of help is harder to find today, which is why it is worth planning for.
In your tradition: the blessing after childbirth
CatholicThe traditional rite of “churching” was a blessing of the mother after childbirth. Today the Book of Blessings includes a blessing of a mother after childbirth, and the rite of infant baptism ends with a special blessing for the mother and father. Some parishes still offer the older rite on request.
OrthodoxThe mother receives prayers on the first day after giving birth. On or near the fortieth day, mother and child are “churched”: the priest meets them at the doors of the church with prayers of thanksgiving and purification, and then brings the child before the altar. This often happens on the same day as the baptism.
AnglicanThe 1662 Book of Common Prayer contains “The Thanksgiving of Women after Child-birth, commonly called The Churching of Women.” The American 1979 Prayer Book includes a “Thanksgiving for the Birth or Adoption of a Child,” for the whole family to offer during a Sunday service.
Whether or not your parish keeps the custom formally, you can borrow its wisdom. Treat the first forty days as a protected season.
How to protect the forty days
For both of you
- Lower the bar. Your only jobs are recovery, feeding the baby, and getting to know each other. Everything else can wait.
- Sleep in shifts. One parent takes the first half of the night, the other the second, so each of you gets a stretch of four or five hours.
- Limit visitors. Short visits from people who bring food and leave are a gift. Long visits from people who want to hold the baby while the mother serves them coffee are not. It is fine to say “not yet.”
- Keep praying, simply. A short prayer at the baby’s bedside each night is enough. God knows how tired you are.
For husbands
- Take as much leave as you can. The first two weeks are the hardest.
- Run the house. Meals, laundry, dishes, older children, pets. Keep a water bottle and snacks at every feeding spot.
- Be the gatekeeper. You manage the phone, the door and the visitors, so she doesn’t have to.
- Watch her closely. Know the warning signs above, and ask her each day how she is really doing.
For mothers
- Stay in bed, or on the couch, as much as you can for the first week or two. “A week in the bed, a week on the bed, a week around the bed” is an old rule of thumb.
- Accept help. Say yes to the meal train. Let your mother do the laundry.
- Eat and drink well, especially if you are breastfeeding.
- Ask for help early if feeding is painful or difficult. A board-certified lactation consultant (IBCLC) can help.
For family and parish
If you are reading this as a grandparent or parish friend: bring a meal in disposable containers, offer to take older children for an afternoon, or fold a load of laundry. Then go home. That is the most loving thing you can do.
Getting ready before the birth
- Stock the freezer with two or three weeks of meals.
- Set up a meal train with your parish or friends.
- Put together a recovery basket for each bathroom: pads, a peri bottle, witch hazel pads, pain relief your doctor has approved, and a stool softener.
- Set up a feeding station by the bed and the couch: water, snacks, burp cloths, phone charger, and a small prayer book.
- Ask your priest about the forty-day blessing and planning the baptism.
Six weeks feels long in the middle of the night, but it passes quickly. Treat it as the gift the Church always meant it to be: a quiet season to rest, heal, and fall in love with the child God has given you.
